Oh my darling baby. On Tuesday you turned two months old!
It was a normal, happy day. Daddy went to work. Mommy wore you in your favorite carrier and worked around the house. We sang songs and danced to Footloose after breakfast. We took a bath together and you grinned as I turned your hair into a babyhawk. You cooed and smiled every time you saw my face, making me feel like the luckiest momma in the world.
At lunchtime you made happy baby noises when you heard daddy on speakerphone, then cried in disappointment after he said goodbye. You grabbed your elephant rattle in one hand, so happy when I shook it for you, but not quite ready to shake it yourself.
After dinner, you squealed with excitement when daddy read us Skippyjon Jones, then wriggled and squirmed as he changed your diaper for what felt like the tenth time. You must have been hungry, because even after daddy fed you four ounces of mommy’s milk from a practice bottle, you nursed for 50 minutes before bed! I just stared contentedly at your beautiful face.
You’ve become a tough little man in all the right ways. You put up with wet puppy kisses and a kitty who steals your pacifiers. You endure little bumps on the head that scare mommy to tears. When your hands are exploring and then cut your face because mommy needs to trim your razor sharp nails, you only cry until you’re covered with loving kisses. And when daddy accidentally yells in shock and horror because you’ve shot poop across the room while he’s changing your diaper, it only takes a moment for you to relax and smile, which sometimes leaves us wondering if you did it on purpose!
Yes, you can be a tough little man, but that’s okay because you’re also so tender.
You know just how to snuggle into our chest for the closest cuddle possible, and you stare into our eyes as if you can see our very souls. You fuss or cry to communicate when something is wrong, then turn to smiles as soon as your need is met. You can make the happiest baby noises ever when you hear our voices or make eye contact; and sometimes you even hug us, though I don’t think you know what a hug is yet. When a day has been too overwhelming, you find a way to let us know that only family snuggles will help you feel like you can sleep.
As you get older, a lot of people will try to tell you that you always have to be tough, or that being tough means not crying or showing how you really feel. I hope you never believe them.
Your daddy is a strong man. Part of what makes him so strong is his honesty, not just with his words, but in not being afraid to show his feelings. I hope you learn from his example, and if anyone ever tells you not to cry when you’re hurt or upset, or tells you “it’s okay” when to you it’s really not, I hope you’ll be able to find a safe place to let those feelings out.
But most of all, I hope you’ll never let anyone teach you to stuff your feelings away or pretend they don’t exist. Those feelings are so important. They’re part of what make you special, and what will help you show love and compassion to those around you.
Sweet, sweet baby boy. You are tender. You are tough. You are two months old, and you are so loved.
1 thought on “Letters to Corban: Tough and Tender Two Month Old”
I have to say, ahhhhh! So sweet!